fic: it's all over but the crying (ghtng, morgan/lila/spencer/janessa, 1/4)

[empressearwig.livejournal.com]

Title: It’s All Over But The Crying
Author: empressearwig and leobrat
Pairing: Spencer/Janessa, Morgan/Lila, Spencer/Lila
Rating: R
Word Count: 4051
Warnings: Extramarital Sex
Disclaimer: All characters and locations first appearing on the series General Hospital do not belong to me. Original characters do.
Summary: How it all comes out.
Author’s Notes: Thanks much to my ever patient writing partner leobrat. Sorry, lapiccolina. This is going to hurt.


Certain things turn ugly when you think too hard
And nagging little thoughts change into things you can't turn off
Everything you think you know baby
Is wrong

Spencer was running late.

He’d meant to be to the office by eight, to go over the numbers with accounting before his conference call with London, but he’d overslept. He knew he’d set the alarm the night before, so Janessa must have turned it off again when she got up to tend to Tatiana, who was the very definition of an early riser.

If anyone else had done something like that, he’d be annoyed, but it was impossible to stay annoyed with his sweet, delicate wife. She’d look up at him with love and adoration shining out of her cornflower blue eyes, and any negative comment, any negative emotion, died on the tip of his tongue.

Even after a year of marriage, a child, Janessa was an innocent.

Spencer had never been anything of the kind, and he didn’t have the heart to take it away from her.

So when he walked into the dining room and found Janessa seated at the table, Tatiana in her arms, he smothered his irritation and bent to press a kiss to her cheek, running a hand over his daughter’s downy hair. “Good morning, love,” he murmured in her ear. He straightened and took his seat across the table from her, smiling at the sight of the sight of his wife and daughter together.

They were lovely. And he did love them, even if it wasn’t in the way that they deserved.

He shook his napkin out and laid it across his lap, as the maid set a plate in front of him. “Thank you, Bridget.” He took a sip of coffee and picked up his fork. “So what do you two beautiful ladies have planned for today?”

Janessa blushed, as she always did when Spencer complimented her. How she was still capable of it, he didn’t know, but it was endearing. “We’re going to see the pediatrician at GH,” she said in her lilting British accent, trying to soothe Tatiana’s slight fussing.

“She’s not sick is she?” he asked, concern in his voice.

Janessa shook her head, rocking the baby gently. “Just a routine check up.” She glanced up at him shyly from underneath her lashes. “I was thinking about taking her to the park afterwards, but maybe we could stop by and see you at the office. Would that be alright?”

He was frowning over his blackberry and not really listening to what she’d said. All he’d heard was that Tatiana was alright. “Of course,” he said absently. With a sigh, he pushed back from the table and stood. “I’m sorry, I need to get to the office immediately.” He kissed her again, quickly, not noticing how happy she looked. “Have a nice day, love.”

He rushed from the room, not realizing that he’d set the horrors of the day to come in motion.

*

Spencer sat back in his desk chair and sighed.

The morning had been a complete disaster, from his late start, to the disappointing sales figures from the Athens office, to the fight he’d gotten in with his father about Spencer’s plans to reroute some of their European business to Asia. From start to finish, it had been a disaster.

He looked down at the clock on his computer, noting the time impatiently.

Lila would be here soon, he reassured himself. At least he had that to count on, to be a bright spot in his otherwise gloomy day. He was sure that he shouldn’t consider a clandestine liaison with his lover to be a bright spot, not when he was risking not only his marriage, but hers as well, not to mention his relationship with her husband that would be lost forever in the aftermath, but it couldn’t be helped.

Lila had always been like a drug to him, and though he’d tried for years to break his addiction to her, he’d come to realize that she was a habit he couldn’t break.

Didn’t want to break.

He knew she felt the same, but she wasn’t ready to admit it yet. She was too reliant on Morgan, too grateful to him for giving her the normalcy she’d always craved. She loved Morgan, Spencer knew that, but it wasn’t the way she loved him. Spencer and Lila weren’t normal, had never been normal, and it was time to end the charade. Past time. Now when he finally convinced her that they were worth it, that they needed each other too much to continue to deny it, not only Morgan would get hurt. If they’d done the right thing, admitted it before he’d married Janessa, before he’d had his daughter, the fallout would have be less far reaching.

Now, the aftershocks of their affair would ripple across everyone, all their friends and family, and no one and nothing would be spared. No matter how cautiously they tread. The longer they waited, the worse it would get, but Lila was no closer to finally giving in, to giving up on her marriage. If she would give him the slightest sign that she was ready, he would set things in motion, ending things with Janessa as gently as he could. He wanted to spare her the knowledge that he’d been cheating on her before they’d even wed if at all possible. He didn’t think he could bear to see the shattered ideals in her eyes if she knew.

He looked at the pictures sitting on the edge of his desk. The one of him and Janessa on their wedding day, her smiling up at him with love shining from her eyes like a beacon. She might have been able to save him if he’d let her. Her love was strong and deep, and he was the center of her world in a way that he’d never felt from anyone in his life before, but he’d been too broken, too snared in a trap that he’d fallen into years before he’d even met her, to let her all the way into his life, his heart. He loved his wife, he did, but he was always too afraid that she’d shatter to lean on her the way that he needed.

He picked up the picture of the two of them with Tatiana, only weeks after she was born. She was so tiny, so like her mother. He hadn’t known he could love anyone so much till he’d held her in his arms minutes after her birth. He’d known then that there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her, no right he wouldn’t try to wrong, no lengths that he wouldn’t go to in order to protect her and keep her safe. He wished for her sake that he could love her mother the way that she deserved, that he could keep their family together always.

He set the picture of their family back in its place, and picked up the one of just his girls, their innocence radiating from the picture. He wanted to protect that, but knew in his heart of hearts that it just wouldn’t be possible. That he’d break something in them that he’d never wanted to, that he’d start them on a course to be just like him.

He didn’t want that for either of them.

The intercom buzzed, startling him out of his reverie. He set the picture hastily back on the desk, and pressed the button on his telephone. “Yes?”

The voice of his secretary, Mrs. Malone, came through the intercom. “Mrs. Corinthos is here to see you, sir.”

He could hear the disapproval in her voice. “Please send her in immediately. And see that we’re not disturbed. Thank you.” He released the button, and sat back in his chair. Finally.

Lila came breezing in through the door, buff colored trench coat draped over her arm along with a handbag, clad in a royal blue suit, and impossibly high matching heels. Her siren red hair pulled back in an elegant chignon, she looked like a demure society matron, but underneath, he knew she’d be covered in barely there silk and lace, revealing more of her porcelain skin than they concealed.

He stood, hands already itching to touch. “Lila.”

“Spencer,” she returned, dropping her coat and bag on one of the chairs in front of his desk. She settled herself in the other chair, crossing her legs, in what he knew was an unconsciously seductive manner. She’d only ever had to breathe to seduce him. A flash of her stocking garters taunted him, but he played things her way, settling back into his chair, and gripping the arms of his chair tightly. He could wait a little longer to touch.

“Your secretary hates me,” she said, eyeing him with what was certainly amusement. She found his lack of willpower where she was concerned amusing and flattering.

He blinked. “Mrs. Malone? I’m sure you’re wrong.”

“She does,” Lila insisted. “You weren’t standing out there waiting, you didn’t see the way she was looking at me. Like she knows.” She chewed on her lip. “Maybe we’re taking too big a chance meeting here.”

“First of all, she doesn’t know,” Spencer said. “And even if she does, she’s well paid to look the other way.”

“That’s reassuring.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I wasn’t finished. Second of all, we wouldn’t have to sneak around if you’d just agree that we should be together. If you were my wife, no one would bat an eye at your coming into my office whenever you please.”

“Spencer…” she sighed. “Not now.”

“When?” he asked impatiently. “We can’t go on like this forever.”

She didn’t answer, but stood, circling round the desk to settle herself on his lap. “Soon,” she promised, bringing her hands to his tie, beginning to loosen it. “In the meantime…”

“Yes?” He needed her to make the first move this time. He needed to know that she was as consumed by what was between them as he was. That he wasn’t alone.

“This,” she breathed, bringing her lips down to his.

His control snapped.

What started as a light, teasing kiss, turned savage, lips, tongues, teeth, warring for dominance. He tore through the buttons of her jacket, desperate to get to the skin beneath. Her hands worked quickly to undo his tie, unfastening buttons on his shirt as quickly as she could. He shoved her jacket back off her shoulders, putting his hands at the top of the thin silk camisole she wore beneath, rending it in two.

She pulled back, gasping his name. “Spencer.”

He set his teeth on her neck, and this time she moaned his name.

He pulled the tattered fabric away from her body, leaving her breasts clad only in a black lace strapless bra. His lips trailed down the column of her throat till he reached her bra, pulling it back from her skin with his teeth, before laving his tongue across her nipple and pulling it into his mouth, suckling deeply. She wound her hands into his hair, holding him fast against her chest, keening her pleasure as he moved from one breast to the other. He smiled triumphantly against her skin.

He reached a hand around her back, finally undoing the bra’s clasp, letting the last layer of fabric fall away from her chest, leaving her bare to his eyes and hands. He lifted her, settling her on his desk, running his hands up into her hair, tumbling her curls down her neck, laying her back against the desk, taking pleasure in the shiver than ran through her body where her hot skin met the cool wood.

She tugged him down on top of her, shoving his shirt back off his shoulders, dropping her hands to his belt, working furiously to undo the buckle. He shoved her skirt up around her hips, stroking the bare skin between the top of her stockings and her panties as it was revealed, inch by creamy inch. He teased her, running a finger along the inset of her panties, but not going beneath, not till she was begging him to touch her, begging him to make love to her.

When she did, he took her mouth again, and drove a finger into her, shoving her panties to the side, swallowing her moan. He slid another finger inside her, and took her nipple between his teeth, and she bit back a sob, pleading with him for relief. He slipped a third finger inside and ran his thumb once, twice, against her clit and it was enough.

She came on a moan that surely could have been heard throughout the building if he hadn’t crashed his lips down on hers, silencing her. He kissed her more gently now as she came down from the heights, going limp against him.

He pressed kisses along the length of her neck, to her breasts, peppering her stomach with kisses, continuing to stroke her gently, building her arousal back up, waiting impatiently till she was ready for more.

When her hands started grasping at him more tightly, her moans became louder, when she started searching for his skin with her lips, he fumbled with his zipper, their hands together pushing down his pants and boxers.

He thrust into her deeply, both of them moaning at the sensation. All he could concentrate on was how good it felt, how tight, how wet she was. Her teeth scrapped across his nipple, and he groaned, thrusting faster, deeper. He reached for her clit again, determined to make her as crazy as she was making him.

His eyes and ears fogged with lust, he didn’t hear or see the door open.

But he did hear the sound of a heartbroken sob echo through the room, and he lifted his head to see Janessa, his beautiful, delicate Janessa, standing in the doorway clasping Tatiana to her chest, a look of utter devastation on her face.

Time froze. He felt like he was moving in slow motion, looking between Janessa and Tatiana, wanting to speak, to make it right, but unable to form so much as a word. He knew in that instant that he’d ruined the last pure and good thing in his life, and for a moment, all he wanted to do was make it right, no matter what it cost him.

Who it cost him.

And then, as he met Janessa’s eyes, it was as if time started moving again.

Before he could even say her name, she was running from the room, the door slamming shut behind her, the noise reverberating through the room, the way that her grief stricken cry had only moments before.

He stepped back from Lila, hurriedly pulling his pants back up, wincing as he zipped them over his still throbbing erection. He bent down to pick up his shirt from the floor, handing Lila her bra and jacket.

She slid off the desk, pulling her skirt back down around her thighs. She fastened her bra and slipped into her jacket without the camisole that was in tatters beyond salvaging on the ground.

He watched her dress, buttoning his own shirt, plotting what to do next, what to say to both Lila and Janessa. They would be two very different conversations, but would be of almost equal importance. They would decide all of their futures, and one wrong word could be disastrous.

So of course he chose the wrong ones. The ones that would put her back up, make her run away from him again. “You have to tell him.”

Lila looked up from slipping back into her shoes. “What?”

“Morgan. You have to tell him.”

She shook her head. “No, I don’t.”

He could feel the impatience building. “Lila, don’t be a fool. It’s only a matter of time now before he finds out.”

“Not if you go convince Janessa that this was the only time this has ever happened and that you’re sorry and it’ll never happen again,” Lila retorted, running her fingers through her hair, trying to smooth away the worst of the damage.

“Janessa’s naïve, she’s not an idiot,” Spencer warned. “Even if I could make her forgive me, make her think that this wasn’t what she thought, do you really think that the sight of my wife running through the halls of Cassadine, tears running down her cheeks would go unnoticed? Someone will start asking questions, and I won’t be able to come up with the answers.” He let out a frustrated sigh. “Besides, I don’t want to lie anymore, Lila. I want this to be out in the open, I want us to be together, you know that.”

“Spencer…” she whispered his name, voice laced with guilt. She bent down to pick up her coat and bag, not able to meet his eyes.

“If not now, when?” he demanded impatiently. “We can’t go on like this forever, Lila. Sooner or later you’re going to have to make a choice.”

She looked up, eyes filled with emotion. She nodded. “I know.”

“Well, I hope to god you make the right choice this time. The choices you made almost ten years ago are the reason we’re here.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” she snapped.

He shook his head. “I don’t have a clue what you know most of the time.” He took two quick steps forward, jerking her into his arms, kissing her roughly, demandingly, leaving no chance that she wouldn’t feel and remember this kiss later, no matter what she did next. He released her, and she stumbled backwards, lips swollen and eyes dazed.

“Think about that,” he advised, storming out of the office, leaving Lila behind.

*

The entire way back to Spoon Island, Spencer could barely contain his anger.

His anger at himself, at Lila, at the situation they all found themselves in. So many people were going to be hurt, and there was nothing he could do now to stop it.

When he arrived at home, he found the house in an uproar, the housekeeper and maids scurrying around carrying suitcases and boxes, as if someone were going on a long trip. His face darkened.

He snagged one of the maids by the arm. "Bridget, what is going on?"

The girl was clearly flustered. "Mrs. Cassadine came home and said she and Miss Tatiana were going to visit her parents and that they'd be leaving immediately, sir."

"The hell they are," he muttered, releasing her and stalking up the stairs to their bedroom.

He found Janessa in the hall with Tatiana's nanny, apparently giving additional instructions as to what needed to be brought with them for their trip. When she spotted him she frowned. Clearly she'd hoped to be gone before he arrived.

He jerked his head towards their bedroom, and waited for her to enter. There was sure to be more than enough gossip about the suddenness of this trip, and he'd be damned if he added to it by fighting in front of the servants. He knew they gossiped like magpies with his father's staff, and he did not want this discussion getting back to him.

Janessa excused herself, and preceded him into the bedroom, spine stiff and straight, but face placid and serene as ever. She was too well brought up to make a scene, he knew that, and was planning on taking shameless advantage of that fact. The way he'd taken shameless advantage of her since the very beginning.

He shut the door behind them.

"What the hell is this, Janessa?"

She turned to face him, more fire in her eyes than he'd ever seen before, chin tilted upwards defiantly. "I'm taking my daughter to visit my parents. Is there something wrong with that?"

He took a step towards her. "Without telling me?"

She sneered at him. "You seemed like you were busy, so I didn't even think you'd notice."

"She is my daughter. You are my wife. Of course I would notice."

"Really? Because when we came to see you, you were too busy fucking your mistress to even notice we were in the room."

He stared at her incredulously. He didn't think he'd ever even heard Janessa utter an expletive before. "What you saw is irrelevant," he said through gritted teeth. "But you are not leaving the country with my daughter."

"Yes, I am." She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him with a mutinous expression.

"No, you are -" he broke off what he was saying, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "This is ridiculous, we sound like children." His voice softened. "Janessa, I'm sorry for what you saw. But it's not a good reason to flee the country."

"The hell it isn't," she retorted. "How long have you been seeing her, Spencer? How long? Since the day we were married? Before? Or are you going to try to make me believe that it was just this one time and you're sorry, but it'll never happen again?"

"Janessa..." he sighed.

"Answer me, damn you!" she screamed.

He shook his head. "No."

She nodded once, sharply. "Then I'm taking Tatiana for an extended visit to my parents." She brushed past him, heading for the door.

He grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face him. "You will not do this."

"You should have thought about this before screwing your whore," she spat back at him, wrenching herself free from his grasp.

"You'll regret this, Janessa," he threatened as she put her hand on the door knob, starting to twist it.

She laughed then, a bitter, broken sound that he'd never heard before. "The only thing I regret, Spencer, is ever believing that you loved me." She opened the door. "By the way, if you were thinking about covering this up? Pretending nothing happened?" She smiled at him, a twisted, menacing thing instead of the sweet, innocent one that she normally wore. "I ran into someone on the docks after I saw you with her, someone that has as big an interest in what's been going on as I do."

He knew it before she said it. "Who?"

"Morgan." She walked out of the room without a look back, heading down the stairs.

He stared after her in shock. The woman who'd just left him behind was not his Janessa, wasn't the wife who had loved him so deeply, so purely. Just as he'd always feared, he'd broken something in her, made her like him. Her light should never have been near his darkness.

He shook his head. He'd deal with her later. If she thought she was taking his daughter away from him, she had another thing coming. Her father may have been a peer of the British realm, but his daughter was a Cassadine. His Cassadine lineage was just as royal as hers, and he'd be damned if Tatiana would be raised an ocean away from his family. From him.

He dug his cell phone out of his jacket, dialing Lila's number. No matter how they'd left things, she deserved to know that Morgan knew. He didn't want her to walk in expecting her kind, loving husband, and find the beast that he knew lurked inside Morgan, the one that Morgan had tried so carefully to suppress, to never show Lila.

He frowned as the call went straight through to voicemail. This was a hell of a time for Lila to be throwing one of her petulant temper tantrums. He'd gladly stroke and soothe later, but for now she needed a harsh dose of reality.

"Lila, it’s Spencer. Morgan knows. Call me."

Short, pithy, to the point.

He sent a text with the same message, and hoped she'd come out of her sulk long enough to check her messages.

If she didn't...

The house was eerily silent now. The hustle and bustle of Janessa's abrupt departure was gone, but it was more than that. The normal, every day noises that had filled the house, the sound of Tatiana crying, the sound of Janessa's softly accented voice as she gave instructions to the staff or sang to their daughter, those noises were gone.

The house was quiet and he was alone.

He sank down onto the edge of the bed, head in his hands.

He was alone.

It was no less than he deserved.